One Ring to Rule Them All.......

....and in the Darkness Bind Them.

Sauron (a.k.a Ben Bernanke) has labored long in his tower, with many late night talks with Saruman (a.k.a. Timothy Geithner) via the power of the Palantir (the communication stone of the FOMC). Sauron has stirred his power to forge the Ring of the FRN (a.k.a. the Federal Reserve), the mighty One Ring which will serve to find all of the banks and money in the world, and in the darkness bind them.

This mighty token, this Ring of the FRN, will also magically bind all of the gaping wounds of the Palantir, and knit its sinews together with magic.

For another Ring exists, the Ring of the Gold. Sauron desperately hides the Ring of the Gold, for to wear it shows the Ring of the FRN for the pale imitation that it is. He cannot destroy the Ring of the Gold, for it is too powerful, but Sauron does have the power to hide it and make it appear as if it had disappeared from the monetary landscape.

Saruman, who is really Gollum in disguise, lusts after this Ring of the FRN. It was partly his to wield in the past, when he occupied a throne, I mean a post, in the inner sanctum of the Palantir. He was ousted from Sauron's presence to appear in the court of Denethor, the Steward of Gondor (a.k.a. the President of the US).

Sauron told him that this was a boon, a reward if you will, for faithful service in the courts of the FOMC, but in truth it was to remove a jealous and distrusted servant. Sauron may have even thought "good riddance. Denethor's court needs a jester, and he will distract that annoying Frodo".

The Ring of the FRN is slowing calling all of its minions to it. Its power is increasing, and increasingly all is laid bare before it. Sauron invests it with more and more of his power, it is his one and only "tool". All other "tools" are merely different variations on a theme.

Sauron wears only the Ring of the FRN as he goes out to survey his domain (a.k.a appear before Congressional Hearings). He chuckles to himself as the Orcs (a.k.a. Congress) grovel before him. He even allows them to put on a show of "questioning" him and "grilling" him. These Orcs are his creatures, bound by the Ring of the FRN. The few Elf Lords (a.k.a. Ron Paul) are mostly powerless, since the Ring of The Gold has been hidden for ages past.

Frodo (a.k.a. the American Public) has gained possession of this false Ring of the FRN, and doesn't know it. He is told by the wise and kindly Gandalf (a.k.a. GATA) that this ring is his to destroy. Gandalf urges him to go to Mount Orodruin (a.k.a. the Constitution) and throw the false Ring of the FRN into the refining fire of this moutain. The Ring of the Gold would then be freed from Sauron's grasp and immediately would cast its light. Frodo would then be the Ring-Wielder, transforming the drear and seared landscape of Orthanc (a.k.a the United States).

Frodo begins his quest, with fear and trembling. He is not sure that Gandalf knows whereof he speaks, but Frodo's pain is so great that he is willing to endure the journey.....


Is there an Aragorn among us? If so, would he kindly step forward, pick up his sword, mount his steed and go valiantly to meed the Orcs?

(I ask the pardon of everyone who is a fan of Tolkien for this mangling of his epic tale of greed, lust, power and redemption. I would that our Frodo would have the courage of Tolkien's Frodo. We need an Aragorn to come and lead the charge.)